For such an innocently joyous young adult series, Neflix’s Heartstopper has evoked such a knee-jerk reaction in me; a 33 year old gay man that has been “comfortably out of the closet” since the age of 18/19 (to a certain degree). However, I’m feeling compelled to unpack why it’s left such a mark, especially given it really wasn’t aimed for my age demographic.
I almost didn’t know what to expect from Heartstopper, I’d seen a trailer and was aware of the hype that was bubbling away beforehand. I’d cottoned on to the fact it had been adapted from a graphic novel, and because of that for some reason I thought it was a LGBTQ+ themed superhero show. I was very wrong but to my defence, the illustrated animations of lightning bolts when two hands almost touch in the trailer can lead you to believe that (if you have zero prior knowledge to the source material like me). This also felt like a stylistic nod to shows like Channel 4’s My Mad Fat Diary and before that CBBC’s Tracey Beaker. Two iconic tv shows that are the epitome of celebrating the power of showing strength in adversity whilst navigating life as a teenager... Anyway I’m getting past the point!
Heartstopper premiered on Netflix a little over a week ago and I tuned in pretty immediately. It was early Friday evening, my other half was working nights and I had the flat to myself and nothing planned. What I hadn’t planned for was to watch the whole series in one sitting. When I tell you I was totally emotionally invested by episode 2 that’s probably an understatement and I was in fact invested by episode 1.
My thoughts throughout watching the show were predominantly along the lines of “this would have really helped the 13 year old me”. It appears I’m not alone. I’ve had a fair few conversations with people of a similar age and situation who have enjoyed the sheer positivity of it all. Something so refreshing when we are so used to tragedy being at the core of the narrative within LGBTQ+ material. What the show lacks in grit and angst it certainly makes up for in joy, the innocence of a first love and subsequently the worries of said love being unrequited. Unrequited love is a perpetual feeling most queer teens will face and I imagine it will resonate with many.
I was immediately transported to being 15, and wishing I had half the courage our protagonist Charlie has at his age. I mean the idea of being openly gay at school was completely unfathomable back in 2003/4. I spent my teenage years being in a constant state of confusion and denial. I’m not alone in that feeling and my own story isn’t original. Compared to a lot of other’s experiences, it’s coming from a lot of privilege from a socio economic perspective. However it’s mine and the only one I’ll know. So to see a young lad who is out, almost proud and living his life in school without his world actually imploding, it’s a refreshing sight. I know I speak for many when I say the thought of being outed at school was single handedly the scariest prospect you could think of. Honestly, the sheer horror of it all…
As the series progresses, my love for the central cast is cemented and the love story that unfolds is not only genuinely sweet, but something that seems so rare to watch for the ones that need to see it most. Although beautiful, this major plot piece isn’t the thing that moves me the most. There are certain relationships between cameo characters that literally had my bottom lip quiver at any given opportunity (I’m looking at you Olivia Coleman).
One major relationship that really stuck with me that I’d like to touch on is Charlie’s with his art teacher, Mr. Ajayi (shoutout to Fisayo Akinade who played the role beautifully), in which Charlie spends most of his lunches hanging out in his classroom when things get too a bit too tough out in the complicated social constructs of a school lunch hall. We learn that this was a more common occurrence in Charlie’s previous year, however it is still always an option for him when he needs some space from the outside world. Mr. Ajayi is another openly gay character in the series although we are not sure if that is just for Charlie’s sake or it is more common knowledge, however this bond is something that instantly unearthed memories of my own school experience that I’d obviously buried until recently, and with that I need to step back in time a fair few years...
After my GCSE’s, I decided to go to college to study my A-Levels with my two best friends, instead of staying at my upper school 6th form. Socially, this was a turning point for me, and the start of my journey of accepting of myself. Eventually it led me to come out to my closest friends in college who were a lot more accepting and open minded (admittedly this is a much more simplified version of events). In time, news got out and back to people I knew at school, including the teachers. What I then learnt was that one teacher had mentioned to a friend still at that school the staff had all discussed quite avidly amongst themselves as to whether I was gay or not during my years there. The way it was relayed to me it made it sound like a bet (hello Mr. McN******s!).
Now I know all people are guilty of gossip, but the 33 year old me living in hindsight can’t quite fathom how appropriate it is for a teacher to be discussing this with a then 17/18 year old student at the expense of someone else. When I heard this news at the time I weirdly took it on the chin. The person I am today would have probably gone and chinned the teacher instead. 😂
This leads me back to Mr. Ajayi in Heartstopper. A teacher I so wish I had been aware of back then. Not that I was out at the time, but maybe having a mentor like that could have helped. The idea of just being able to confide in an elder with no fear of repercussions. And also the fact that a teacher would feel comfortable enough to be openly gay at the school he/she/they work at with no repercussions either!
The final topic I want to briefly cover before I finish this very narcissistic thought piece, is the celebration of queer love without the use of tragedy. Russell T. Davies, I absolutely ADORE YOU and everything you’ve created. The subject matter you’ve brought to life is necessary, always so impeccably told, and most definitely needs to be shared to the masses, but why do people always have to die?! Amongst many others of RTD’s creations, It’s A Sin shed so much light on the AIDS crisis in such a beautifully tragic way and led to so many conversations within my circle of friends after watching. But one thing LGBTQ+ material is rarely lacking is tragedy (the list is of source material is endless). So to have a tv show like Heartstopper that is about young love without that negative trope of death being around the corner, is just so refreshing and (for want of a better word as I feel like i’ve used it far too much already) important in order to move things forward for the many 15, 16, 17, 18 year old versions of me who are grappling with the idea of coming out in 2022.
This leads me to conclude with why I think this show is so important. This sweet and innocent show is at its core a celebration of queer joy through the eyes of a love struck teenager. It’s nothing new in terms of what we’ve seen before; other than representation of who that teenager has fallen for and in effect the normalisation of it all. The more queer joy we see and the more that it is normalised within mainstream media and more importantly in education, the less this so called “closet” will ever need to exist in the first place.